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Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith
By Martha Nibley Beck
Crown
Reviewed by: Natalie R. Collins
As happens with controversial subject matters, the buzz started long before the book was birthed. In this case, the book is Leaving the Saints: How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith, by Martha Nibley Beck, and though it came out March 1, the rumor mill had been fast and furious for months beforehand.
Beck, an O Magazine columnist and "life coach," is a well-known and highly acclaimed nonfiction writer. But this time she was writing about something different. This time she was writing about her former faith, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and of her birthright, as that of the daughter of beloved Mormon apologist Hugh Nibley.
And her claim--that her father molested her when she was young, and that she repressed these memories until after she had her own children--was, in the eyes of the Saints, ludicrous, at best, and blasphemous at worst. Repressed memories, highly controversial even in Gentile circles, are easily dismissed. Even so, the Mormons did not want anyone saying anything bad about Hugh Nibley. This was much worse than "bad."
The Mormon militia went into attack mode early. Hordes of distraught and angry Mormons wrote Oprah Winfrey, urged on by a massive email campaign, and urged her not to feature Martha's book or have her on the show. Beck received hundreds of hate emails and even death threats. Her family created a Web site claiming she was a liar and a fraud, with a penchant for drama. The fact that she is now living in a homosexual relationship became fodder for the gossip mills, and was used to discredit her. In short, she became a target of extraordinarily huge proportions, and it's hard to miss a target that big. So they fired. But controversy sells. And sell it did. Martha's book is doing quite well, and sales seem brisk.
In all the hoopla, the content of the book itself has nearly been forgotten. That's a shame, because this is a beautifully written, heart-wrenching, and profoundly disturbing tome. As a former Mormon, who also writes about Mormon issues, it set off numerous triggers in me. I've had many people write and tell me the same thing about my book, Wives and Sisters, but I don't think I really understood it until I read Leaving the Saints.
As I read, all the hoopla came flooding back. The main claims by Martha's detractors were these.
1. She claimed there was a squad of Danites (Mormon hit men) still roaming around.
2. She claimed a stylist in ultra-Mormon Utah County told her to call her husband before cutting her hair short.
3. She claimed repressed memories, which everyone knows are very iffy.
Well, yeah, those claims--singled out as they are--do sound somewhat ridiculous. But they simply aren't correct. Beck never claims that there are still modern-day Danites parked outside her house, waiting to assassinate her, much as Orrin Porter Rockwell did for Joseph Smith Jr., and Brigham Young, in the early days of the LDS Church. What she does say is that the possibility exists that Church Security plays a much larger--and more ominous role--in the LDS Church than they would like anyone to think. To those outside the Mormon Church, that claim may sound paranoid. Living here in Utah, I assure you it is not. I have a cousin who worked for Church Security for years. He used to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night, going undercover for the Church. Before you dismiss him as a nut, please be aware he also worked for the FBI, and is currently a well-respected law enforcement officer. At one point, he infiltrated the ministry of Sandra and Gerald Tanner, well-known Mormon dissidents, pretending to be a former Mormon, turned evangelical Christian. Church Security may seem rather innocuous and silly, until you run into them on Temple Square, with their grim demeanor, their earpieces, their dark suits. It's also ridiculous for people to assume that the LDS Church does not keep tabs on its dissidents. My publisher received a request for advanced copies of my book long before they should have known it existed. "That's a little creepy," said my agent. A little creepy, yes, but not surprising. Vocal former Saints are dangerous. They look deeper, pry harder, and yell louder about the dubious beginnings and odd beliefs of the Mormons than those who have never been touched by it would ever think of doing.
As for the haircut incident, I have no doubt it happened. When I tell people what some Mormons say or email to me, they are aghast. But it's a mindset that you can't really understand unless you are immersed it. Or, unless, say, you actually read Beck's book, which is a remarkable and courageous achievement. Then you might say, "Wow, I can't believe this happens."
I don't know where I stand on repressed memories. I believe that much harm has been done by people claiming repressed memories, falsely planted by unethical therapists, but there is physical proof that Martha Beck was assaulted by someone. Sadly, however, it will always be a case of "he-said, she-said," especially since Hugh Nibley passed away in February of this year. But after reading Martha's book, I will firmly state that I believe her, and I know that she has written this book at great emotional and mental cost to herself. While there is something very freeing about writing about the painful memories of one's past, when those memories disturb the images or egos of others, the result is chaos.
Martha Beck's story is powerful, as she recounts her upbringing in a dysfunctional family, where her siblings did most of the parental duties. Hugh Nibley was a distant, strange, and very intelligent man who had been the victim of abuse, possibly sexual, by his own mother. Beck's mother was an intelligent but depressed and often angry woman who took much of her rage out on Martha. But through it all, Martha somehow discovered her true self and pulled herself out of the mire. It might have taken years, but she did it. And she tells us about it in detail, and we are all better off for it.
Throughout the entire book, there is no real anger. There is, rather, a lot of insight, especially into the culture that exists, deeper than the earth's core, and permeates all of Utah. Beck is also extremely funny and her witty comments take the reader by surprise, and leave you laughing out loud just minutes after you wanted to sob.
At the end of Beck's book, I was left feeling great sorrow for her, for her family, and for the man she believes molested her. Hugh Nibley was in a terrible position, especially at the time the molestation occurred. How does one defend the indefensible? He did the best he could, but Beck believes it was at great cost to his mental health, and of course, to hers as well.
Do not listen to the critics. Do not listen to the masses of angry Mormons. Read the book and decide for yourself. You'll be glad you did.
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